“Fleabag”: An Exploration of Emotion

where to watch Amazon Prime

when to watch When you’re in the mood for a serious comedy that deals with complicated relationships and people, but humorously.

you should note Takes some time to get into. Season 2 super bingeable. Phoebe Waller-Bridge, creator and star, also wrote Season 1 of “Killing Eve”

tl;dr Fleabag can be confusing and make you uncomfortable, but it’s an incredible show. You’ll be laughing and crying, possibly at the same time.

---

Fleabag is the first show in a long time (maybe ever) that has left me contemplating what it means to be human. I know, that sounds super dramatic. Maybe it’s not actually the show; maybe it’s just my current mental state. But even though it’s a comedy about a young London woman stumbling her way through life, it’s really about grief, guilt, and love.

surprise post

I hadn’t actually planned to write about Fleabag this week. I had a whole different show lined up. Fleabag is pretty popular and well-known already, and at the start of this week, I hadn’t even seen it. When I did start watching, I was skeptical. Truthfully, it wasn’t love at first sight. By the time I finished season 2 last night though, I could think about nothing else. My first thought when I woke up this morning was of the show. It lingered in my head all day. Scenes from it replayed over and over. I knew I had to write about it.

it has to grow on you

It was weird at first. It’s crude and almost jarring. The constant fourth-wall breaks made me uncomfortable—from the first line of the show, Fleabag made me her most intimate confidant, and I wasn’t ready for it.

I didn’t like Fleabag. I didn’t want to be her confidant, because I hated the choices she made. Somehow, her being so completely open made me feel like I was complicit in them. I didn’t want any part of that. I felt like she must be an unreliable narrator (I mean, we never learn her real name), and how could I watch something where I couldn’t trust the narrative? But eventually, I became used to it. Fleabag and I became friends. I wanted to hear her hilarious quips and see her silly expressions as she looked straight at the camera. I began to understand why she made such self-destructive choices. Everything started to make sense.

As the first season came closer to its end, grief and guilt became front and center. I’m fascinated by grief; I think it’s the strangest emotion of all. It’s so strange, because it is so unpredictable. It will hit you at the most unexpected times. I’m always amazed at the ability humans have to just keep going in the face of unimaginable tragedy and loss, simply because there is nothing else to do. But, I digress. We never see Fleabag in the immediate aftermath of any of the losses she’s experienced. Instead, we see flashbacks and learn that Fleabag is not moving on. She’s stuck.

stay for season two

If season one was good, season two was spectacular. I loved every moment of it, and could not get enough. I binged it all in one sitting.

Instead of grief or guilt, season 2 focuses on love. It focuses on Fleabag learning how to love, and how to accept it in return. There’s a forbidden love story that should feel completely ridiculous, and yet it feels incredibly touching and painful. The last scene of the series was heart-wrenching, beautiful, and somehow also happy. It was crushing, yet triumphant.

If you start the show and feel like it might not be for you, I encourage you to keep watching, at least until the first few episodes of season 2. It’s only a total of 12 20ish minute episodes, and by the time you get to the end, you won’t regret it.

If you’ve already seen it, as I’m sure many of you have, let me know what you thought in the comments! Was anyone else profoundly moved? Did anyone else find themselves pondering on the meaning of grief? Was it just me?

find more on amazon prime

find more British TV